That One...

We all have That One,
That One person who we desperately want
Who just doesn’t seem to want us,
As bad as we want them.

My One is tall, dark, and Kenyan.
He is not very good looking,
In fact he looks like one of the hyenas from the Lion King…
He’s prone to weight gain,
And is very sensitive about the whole weight subject altogether.

But I loved him, all of him, completely.

He had the crookest smile
That somehow reminded me of sinister thoughts.
And had one of the smartest, active, minds that I had seen in quite a while.

He was the first man I ever dated to compliment my mind,
Have intellectual discussions with me, and
Notice when I was tired, without me having to say it.

And he was able to give me an orgasm in two minutes. TWO MINUTES!!!
Yes, oh yes, I loved him. All of him, completely.

Then one day he broke my heart. He didn’t do it all at once, but step by step, little by little, until my heart was full of cracks. Then that one faithful day, he tapped it, without really meaning to… And I shattered.

My outside still looked solid, but internally I had gone to pieces.

To be honest, at first I hadn’t noticed. There had been so many cracks already that I hadn’t noticed that this wound was different.

I separated from him, cut off all contact, and went on living my life. I felt fine.

Then about a year later, recently, I watched a movie about love, and really living life…
I was so touched that I was finally able to feel all of the pieces of my heart. They were strewn about.

Having finally felt what I had been avoiding for a year, I fell apart. I cried uncontrollably for three hours until I fell asleep.

But still, I loved him, all of him, completely.

There is always that one that we simply can’t have for whatever reason.

But I am starting to think that maybe That One is preparing me for The One. Because That One showed me what I do and don’t want in a relationship. Something that I rarely even considered before.

And now when The One comes I’ll be ready because That One already showed me what it is to play, love, and to lose.

I’ve grown enough to not need That One anymore.

But I haven’t grown enough to be ready to meet The One…
I have to put the pieces of my heart back together first.