Friday, January 8, 2010

What If Black Women Were White Women?

















































































At Alienated
Conclusion @ www.nerdsevolving.blogspot.com
is an article called
What If Black Women Were White Women? I read this and it really got me to thinking. I really love this article. I posted it on my facebook page, because I knew I would be posting it here, and it really didn't get the response I hoped it would. From Black women and men alike. But below is the article. I want to know opinions.



In “If Men Could Menstruate,” Gloria Steinem makes the persuasive argument that “Whatever a ‘superior’ group has will be used to justify its superiority, and whatever an ‘inferior’ group has will be used to justify its plight.”
For too long the definition of racism has been a fight between white and black manhood or “who’s the bigger man”, so to speak. We've trivialized the existence of gender between both groups of men in favor for discussion of the "bigger issue".

This has historically enabled white female supremacy—the most unchallenged form of white supremacy—to escape any critical thought.
What if suddenly, instantly, the power of white femininity were transferred to black women? The answer is clear: Black women would represent value, purity; and based on their natural traits would be worthy of protection and instantly become the objects of universal desire.

White women would represent the opposite.
“Beauty tar potion” would become globally popular to get the “black look.” “Dove” would be replaced with a black soap called “Raven” to help exfoliate the skin and bring out subtle hints of melanin. White female features would be declared violent. Their “jagged” thin lips, “knife sharp” noses, and “harsh” jaw lines would be nature's way of expressing why men have a natural preference for the soft features of black women. Soft lips, soft cheekbones, and soft, round noses would be proof of natural femininity. Full, pink lips and large, dark eyes would become associated with virginal black girls whose purity must not be compromised.

Black female features would thus be said to represent youth.
Straight, blond hair would be considered “wild and unruly” because when the wind blew, it did not stay in place. Women with naturally straight hair would hide their “unruly” and “wild” stick-straight hair in public. The desire for “lightweight hair” that defied gravity would permanently end the use of blow dryers. Keeping one's natural blond hair wild and straight would become indicative of a political statement. The anti-aging properties of black female skin combined with soft, curvy bodies would be proof of the overall reproductive health of black women.

Scientists would argue that black women were naturally preferred as long term mates and mothers because they were “healthier.” Men’s attraction to women is based on overall health and fertility, after all.
Suddenly, biracial women would be “in” because the hard features of white women wouldn't prevent the fragile genes of “black beauty” from peeking through. Men would suddenly have the desire to date “ethnic,” non-black women since they would look “closer to black” than blond women—at least they wouldn't look like white women.

Statistics would equate the fact that white women make up the majority with their “overpowering” and “strong” population. This would be proof that they could handle unsafe neighborhoods. The “strong culture” they would have created amongst themselves would enable them to withstand their lack of protection from predators and criminals. Statisticians would argue that men were attracted to black women innately because they made up a small percentage of the population. “We tend to value what is rare,” they might say.


Men would proclaim that white women deserve sexual objectification because “flat buttocks” allow for deeper penetration. In ghettos across America, men would stand on street corners and yell “Damn! You got a flat ass!” to remind white women of their sexual status in society.
Upper class women would be afraid that their “asses looked flat” since it would represent animalistic and sexual deviance, like white women.

Black women’s buttocks, said to protrude farther from the body, would prove that their natural vulnerability made them “less equipped” to handle hardcore sex and rape like white women could.
“I need a strong white woman!” would become a popular “empowering” slogan for exploitative men who rationalized the emotional, financial, and sexual overburdening of white women.

Overweight white nannies would become the “acceptable white women” in popular culture as they do not pose a threat to black female superiority and privilege. Conventionally attractive white women would serve as a sexual threat to black women for single-handedly breaking down the beauty hierarchy.
Hip hop videos would feature men throwing money at “white bitches” bent over in front of the camera to showcase their white asses, eager for deep penetration.

Entire songs would be devoted to hatred of “white gold digging bitches” who believed that they were entitled to the financial security in marriage to which black women were entitled. “Penetrable white asses” and “pale-faced hoes” would become the cash commodity for selling entire musical genres.
White women’s “hard” bodies would be deemed more “capable” of fighting off sexual attackers, while the soft curves of black female bodies would become worthy of police protection.

White women, despite being at high risk of being victimized by violence and sexual crimes, would not “need” police protection.
Movies would feature black women as the main objects of men’s desire across racial lines while stereotypes of evil, bitter, and oversexed white women would further prove why men of all races simply did not prefer blonds. “We can’t help those to whom we're attracted,” men would say.

“Preference” would become an unconcealed acceptance of discrimination against white women. White women’s anger towards and sadness about the status quo would show their unreasonable jealousy of the innate superiority of black women.
Republicans would ban abortions to protect the virtue of pure, black motherhood and liberals would advocate increasing the number of abortion clinics in “low income” neighborhoods where white women would be the majority.

Liberals would claim that white women had “culturally” approved of sexual objectification and were “safe enough” without outside help since they were warned not to touch “in-group issues” with a ten foot pole.
And so on and so forth. The most important reality is that black feminists would eventually grow tired of being seen as innocent and vulnerable in patriarchy and would fight to erase the commodity of black femininity. “The innocent, submissive, and vulnerable representation of women is what puts us in danger. The rigid category of femininity has contributed to our oppression,” they might argue. In the back of every black feminist movement we would hear the quiet and dignified pleas of radical white feminists. “But, we do not represent femininity."

We are considered strong, incapable of feeling pain, and sexually deviant—but all this has done is increase our likelihood of being in danger. And aren’t we women too?”
As Gloria Steinem wrote, “In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless - and logic has nothing to do with it.” What remains universally evident is that the many justifications for power and privilege are always inherent, always scientific, and always permeate society to the point that they remain deeply buried within our collective consciousness. Until someone challenges them.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Please Don't Believe the Hype



I didn't find the segment offensive and just waaayyy off base like I thought I would, but I can't help but think, Black women, please do not believe the hype. There are Black plenty of Black women who are married and happily so. I have seen them, I know them, and you do too.


However, I also know a number of Black women who are unmarried and haven't dated in quite some time. I refuse to believe it is because men that aren't Black don't find Black women attractive. I am a Black woman and men from all ethnicities and backgrounds hit on me all the time. So I personally know that this is not true. There are a few factors that I do believe add to the causing of Black women to remain single. In no specific order...


1. Not knowing how to properly "vet" a man: Before a woman commits herself to a man she has to know certain things about him.


What is important in his life? Does he want to get married? Does he

want kids? Does he have kids? If so how often does he see them? If he

seems vague about becoming serious then you know that he is not the

one for you. You should not be intense, about you’re questioning. Just let

him talk. Listen to what he says. Dating is really a job interview, it is not

really about romance and you should not make it about such. But most

women are looking for "the one." And they are eager and willing to put

someone in the role who doesn't belong there. Then they have spent all this

time dating a man who never had the intentions of giving them what they

wanted in the first place. If you meet a man, "vet" him, if he doesn't add up,

let him go. There are too many men, to get caught up on one.


2. Not dealing with negative experiences and the negative emotions that they have caused.


Trust me when I say that I have been through hell when it comes to the men

I have been with. But I have been through more hell dealing with family

members and family drama. These experiences have left their marks in my

life, but I work at healing the scares, dealing with the emotions they have

caused, learning from them and moving on.


I honestly believe that too many Black women don't deal with the negative

things that went on in their own households, things that happen when they

were children, teenagers, or even young adults. I don't know the Black

community to be big on soul searching when it comes to things that could

possibly make family members or even community members look bad. But

we all know that protecting someone who has hurt you does nothing for

healing and inner development.


If you do not deal with the negative things that went on in your household you

are bound to repeat them. Because you will attract people who have the same

wounds and emotionally problems that you have.


3. Sticking with a man who is not right for them for far too long.


I know someone who was in an abusive relationship for thirteen years. The

whole time she was with a man who was beating her behind, there was

more than one man who was interested in her. These men had good jobs,

were kind and knew how to treat a woman. While the man she was with,

was selling drugs to make a living, part of the time, and had her supporting

him the rest of the time. Yet, she was hesitant to leave him. I have also seen

women who were mildly unhappy in their relationships.


While one is extreme and one is minor they both point to women who are too insecure to leave something that is no longer working for them. I think that having a man can

be a huge deal in the Black community. It's like, you can have everything in

the world, but if you don't have a man you are nothing. It makes women

hesitant to leave someone who is not right for them for fear that they will not

find someone else. THIS IS NOT TRUE!!! If you turned your head to the

right, you would probably see five single men.


4. Having children out of wedlock.


This is a sensitive topic. But if you have a bunch of kids it will become more

difficult to meet a man eager to marry you. It's just the truth. Sorry, that is

just the way it is. Not impossible, but it becomes harder. And don't think that

if you have kids with a man that that will keep him there. It is actually the

opposite. If you have kids with him, many men feel like they got you, and

that you aren't going anywhere, so guess what? Then they REALLY don't

feel like they have to lock you down with the ole ball and chain.


5. Not expecting to meet a "good" man.


I have never been attracted to the bad boys. I have always liked the nerd, I

knew that over time they would make more money. But many women are.

Okay, women can have their phase, but eventually they have to learn from

their mistakes and make better choices. But I have honestly seen, women

chose the same type of man over and over again, the bad ones, and then SWEAR

that all men are like that. I've seen women never realize that it's the choices

they make as much as it is the men they find. In the end it all goes back to

Vetting and to attracting the wounds that are in your life. How can you attract

something that you don't expect to find?


6. Having a stank-ass attitude.


Another sensitive topic, LOL, now I know that most Black women are not

"ghetto," attitude bound, neck rolling Sapphires. But, I have seen a large

number of them who just look unpleasant. At my church, there were plenty of

beautiful Black women who just looked mean. They were not inviting at all. I understand this. Sometimes as Black women, we get used to having to be tough. Or give off that aura of being the strong Black woman. There is nothing wrong with being a strong woman.


As Black women we really do have to be strong. But you have to look friendly and inviting. If you want a man to approach you, then look approachable! Smile and look happy, if you are not happy, then maybe you should not be pursuing a relationship. Maybe you should be working on finding and maintaining your own happiness on your own. Without a man, that is what I am working on. Being with God. I know that a man will come later. I know cause I meet them everyday, and become tempted!


There will be a part two so stay tuned.


Monday, December 21, 2009

I'm Back! And still having problems posting... :)














I didn't have the internet in my home for six months. But it helped me to get past my internet addiction...kind of. I'm back with a semi-new perspective, due to my new Christian status, and am eager to share my opinions and experiences.



I am new to blogging so bare with me. I am also very excited about 2010, and the new adventures and experiences that it brings. I still want to fill dark-skinned Black women with pride and remind them that they are beautiful. This is the point of this blog.

Of course, I expect to get off course when something outrages me and I just have to write about it. Oh and I saw The Princess and the Frog and I was not pleased! The thing that I think bothered me most was that many Black people were unfazed like "at least they gave us something." I hate to be nerdy but, that is stinkin thinkin. I want the best and I want equal treatment and I will not accept the scraps that are given to me with a happy face. Disney is making millions off of this film... I will save the rest for a post. The point is that I'm back and ready to share and have people share with me.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Jennifer Hudson in Elle magazine




Jennifer Hudson is in July's Elle Magazine and this is the best I've ever seen her.

The photographer really did a good job capturing her beauty. Usually, when I see her in an editorial she looks horrible.

She usually looks awkward to me. I find it disappointing because I know that she is a beautiful girl.

But she looks great here! I have to give props to Elle because they showed many Black women in this month’s magazine. Not just the usually White girls. Maybe J-Hud is feeling more comfortable in front of the camera. Whatever it is she needs to keep it up!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Hating Ass Black Women

I hate it when I look at a sister and she looks at me like she could kill me. I HATE IT!!!!!!! But it happens so often that I really don't know what to do about it. I usually smile. Once that almost got me into a fight. And I had to set that sister STRAIGHT! I let her know that it was sad that she had so little love in her life that she would mistake a smile from someone as someone laughing at her.

And that it was not my problem if she thought so little of herself, that someone could not smile at her, they had to be laughing. She seemed shocked; partially I know it was because I was PISSED!

But it has happened so often to me.

Recently I was chatting with a man who is trying to court me, more on that later, when two black women, one light skinned and one dark drove up. Clearly they both thought that I was not cute, because the light one sits and waits for the guy to look at her. By that I mean, watch her with his eyes. He does not take the bait. She waits, he does nothing. Her friend gets out of the car and does whatever it is she has to do.

This girl gets out of the car and stands there! Waiting! He still will not look at her. She walks past us, he still does not look. She begins to stretch. At this point I am uncomfortable. She gets back in her car and looks at him. He then briefly looks at her. Her friend struts by, expecting to get some play. Still they get nothing. They look at each other and finally leave.

Once I was with my man of three years, yes I was looking a mess; we had finished a morning full of quality time and just wanted breakfast. Any who, I walk in with my man and these women, all black, turn and laugh out loud at me! I was so embarrassed. So was my man and so was our server.

I honestly believe these women did this because I had a man, and they probably didn't. Or they did but not one that treated them well.

This behavior is ridiculous! When I see one black woman attacking another woman, she is usually black. Where is the comradery? Where is the love?
I know that I am tired of this shit. Come on! We get so little love and support from the world the least we could do is support each other! God.

You Talk About a Good Man But...


We have all heard this one, “You talk about needing a good man, but when you get one you don’t know how to treat him.” I have found this to be true. I have heard so many women say, “He’s too nice,” when a man acts gentlemanly towards them. I have seen women take advantage of a man, when he is willing to do for her. Usually because she thinks he’s a sucker!

I personally have treated a good man like shit, and loved a bad man with reckless abandon. But we say we want a good man. Deep down I know what a woman means when she says “He’s too nice.”

It means: She wants a leader, not a follower.
A man who is bold and strong enough to
Protect her from harm. A man who will stand
Up to her and tell her when she is wrong.
A quintessial Alpha male.

But I think that somewhere along the line we as Black Women began to accept the extreme.
A man who is cold.
A man who is violent.
A man who refuses to listen.
A man who is stubborn to reason.

Somewhere along the line did we forget that we are women? I don’t care what any woman says. A woman needs a man.

To hold her. To caress her. To kiss her.
To tell her she is beautiful.
To support her emotionally when times are tough.
To help her financially when she falls down.
To aid her mentally when she is too tired
to think for herself.

A man, a true man, will do all of these things with integrity and will not try to take advantage of you. Most “Nice Guys” will do this for you. I don’t know, maybe if we treat the “Nice Guys” like the “Alpha Males” they will step up and be both.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Keke Palmer





























Keke Palmer has been on the scene since 2004 when she appeared in Barbershop 2: Back in Business. Since then she has gone on to star in Akeelah and the Bee, a movie that I absolutely love, The Longshots, and plays the title character on Nickelodeon's True Jackson.

I believe that she is steadily building up a strong career for herself. I believe that we will see many good things from her in the future and I honestly hope that opportunities will continually present themselves. Obliviously, I wish Ms. Palmer the best in her career.
Oh, and by the way, she's only fifteen.