What I Think Men Like

First I would like to ask for forgiveness, I still struggle with the formatting of this blog so bear with me please. In my last post I wrote that four men had asked me out during that week. This was certainly more than had been calling in the previous weeks. I would say that before I had been averaging about one man every two weeks. What made the difference?

That particular week I was wearing a skirt and high heels. It was amazing! It almost didn't even matter how my hair looked, or that I was wearing no makeup. The men came calling! And even though only four guys asked me out, I notice that I was receiving attention from all types of men, not just Black men either. I think it is because most women do not wear dresses or skirts as much as they used to. I think that men secretly, and not so secretly, long for the days when a man was a man and a woman was a woman.

Of course, we ladies know that those days are long gone and that we will continue to enjoy the equalities we have. We Black women also know that our history has always been to work outside the home, so most never had any of those at home privileges that other women enjoyed.

My point is that wearing a skirt reminds a man that you are a woman. It is one of the few things that is strictly a woman's domain, unless of course he is Scottish or a cross-dresser…the same thing goes for heels.

I think the key is in looking lady-like and almost a bit understated, like sexy without meaning to be. That seems to get men every time because then they feel like it is something that they (only) are picking up on. It helps if you look happy (read light-hearted) and innocent.

I don't know what it is about men, but they always seem to go for the innocent look. We have all had trials and tribulations, but we do not have to wear them on our face! So, try it! Look happy, open, and satisfied with your life! Grab some sexy but classy heels, an elegant skirt, some stockings, and get out there! I'm sure it will make a difference than if you were just wearing jeans.

Oh, and it is hard to look sexy if you are in pain. So, go for the sexiest but classiest heels that you can find that also happen to be COMFORTABLE.

If you can not find comfy heels, then bring flats, wear them at your desk or around your office, then if you are at a place where a large amount of people are sure to see you, wear your heels.

How to Catch Your Man?

First, it has been a while since I have seriously posted anything here. No, I am not lazy :)...I have been very busy. I am getting ready to direct a short film and all of my attention has been there. So, I apologize for my absence. But in the time that I have been gone several things have happened involving men. Two weeks ago I was asked out by four different men! This is exciting, or I shall say WAS exciting, because since then these men have become very uninteresting.


While this is happening a friend of mine had become interested in a man at her job and I had become interested in a man that I met while running errands. Neither man had asked either one of us out. But both had initiated some sort of contact of interest.


But when it comes down to getting to know these men better, my friend and I have different perspectives on how to catch a man. I believe in ignoring a man. By this I mean letting them initiate all or most of the contact. Then you can flirt and charm them with your feminine wiles. But only once they have started some sort of conversation. This is what has worked for me. Of course, there are rules to this kind of thinking.


First, you HAVE to look YOUR BEST. I don't mean what you think is good. I mean looking your, honest with yourself, no excuses, a man would agree with you, best. I don't mean looking trashy. By doing this you will attract a man, but for all of the wrong reasons, and I am sure most of you know this. My friend, however, believes in actively flirting with a man. She believes in finding reasons to go and talk to him. She also finds topics to bring to his attention, smiling, and laughing at his jokes. I don't mind the smiling and laughing, but to me the rest is just too much work! Shouldn't a man be trying to figure out reasons to come and talk to you?


Sometimes I feel like there are not many men out there who are willing to put in the work that is necessary to woo a woman. However, I still expect to be treated like a lady. So many of our men want us, but don't feel like they should have to put in the work to get us. Do not let this detour you! Look your best, non-verbally demand respect, and I believe decent men from all backgrounds will come to treat you with love and respect.

Most women give themselves excuses about why they do not look their best. Lack of money is no excuse. The lack of money reason simply means lack of creativity. Hit up thrift stores; learn to do your own hair, trade clothes with friends.
Once you are honest with yourself, by this I mean looking at yourself objectively, as if someone else was looking at you, then you can move forward and begin to actively look your best. After that, ignore the men. Not in an angry way, but in a happy, busy, fulfilled way.


To be honest I have a hard time looking happy because I am usually to busy ignoring, but practice will make perfect for me. Be happy! And I think the men will come to you. But what do you think? Should a woman actively flirt with a man, whom I take as actively pursing, or should she kick back and let him come to her? I tried the actively flirting thing recently, and FOR ME, it did not work. I am going back to my old ways. They have worked for me in the past. I will be updating this story with my friend and I. Let's see if we can catch our men.