Jennifer Hudson in Elle magazine

Jennifer Hudson is in July's Elle Magazine and this is the best I've ever seen her.

The photographer really did a good job capturing her beauty. Usually, when I see her in an editorial she looks horrible.

She usually looks awkward to me. I find it disappointing because I know that she is a beautiful girl.

But she looks great here! I have to give props to Elle because they showed many Black women in this month’s magazine. Not just the usually White girls. Maybe J-Hud is feeling more comfortable in front of the camera. Whatever it is she needs to keep it up!

Hating Ass Black Women

I hate it when I look at a sister and she looks at me like she could kill me. I HATE IT!!!!!!! But it happens so often that I really don't know what to do about it. I usually smile. Once that almost got me into a fight. And I had to set that sister STRAIGHT! I let her know that it was sad that she had so little love in her life that she would mistake a smile from someone as someone laughing at her.

And that it was not my problem if she thought so little of herself, that someone could not smile at her, they had to be laughing. She seemed shocked; partially I know it was because I was PISSED!

But it has happened so often to me.

Recently I was chatting with a man who is trying to court me, more on that later, when two black women, one light skinned and one dark drove up. Clearly they both thought that I was not cute, because the light one sits and waits for the guy to look at her. By that I mean, watch her with his eyes. He does not take the bait. She waits, he does nothing. Her friend gets out of the car and does whatever it is she has to do.

This girl gets out of the car and stands there! Waiting! He still will not look at her. She walks past us, he still does not look. She begins to stretch. At this point I am uncomfortable. She gets back in her car and looks at him. He then briefly looks at her. Her friend struts by, expecting to get some play. Still they get nothing. They look at each other and finally leave.

Once I was with my man of three years, yes I was looking a mess; we had finished a morning full of quality time and just wanted breakfast. Any who, I walk in with my man and these women, all black, turn and laugh out loud at me! I was so embarrassed. So was my man and so was our server.

I honestly believe these women did this because I had a man, and they probably didn't. Or they did but not one that treated them well.

This behavior is ridiculous! When I see one black woman attacking another woman, she is usually black. Where is the comradery? Where is the love?
I know that I am tired of this shit. Come on! We get so little love and support from the world the least we could do is support each other! God.

You Talk About a Good Man But...

We have all heard this one, “You talk about needing a good man, but when you get one you don’t know how to treat him.” I have found this to be true. I have heard so many women say, “He’s too nice,” when a man acts gentlemanly towards them. I have seen women take advantage of a man, when he is willing to do for her. Usually because she thinks he’s a sucker!

I personally have treated a good man like shit, and loved a bad man with reckless abandon. But we say we want a good man. Deep down I know what a woman means when she says “He’s too nice.”
It means: She wants a leader, not a follower.
A man who is bold and strong enough to
Protect her from harm. A man who will stand
Up to her and tell her when she is wrong.
A quintessial Alpha male.

But I think that somewhere along the line we as Black Women began to accept the extreme.
A man who is cold.
A man who is violent.
A man who refuses to listen.
A man who is stubborn to reason.

Somewhere along the line did we forget that we are women? I don’t care what any woman says. A woman needs a man.

To hold her. To caress her. To kiss her.
To tell her she is beautiful.
To support her emotionally when times are tough.
To help her financially when she falls down.
To aid her mentally when she is too tired
to think for herself.

A man, a true man, will do all of these things with integrity and will not try to take advantage of you. Most “Nice Guys” will do this for you. I don’t know, maybe if we treat the “Nice Guys” like the “Alpha Males” they will step up and be both.

Keke Palmer

Keke Palmer has been on the scene since 2004 when she appeared in Barbershop 2: Back in Business. Since then she has gone on to star in Akeelah and the Bee, a movie that I absolutely love, The Longshots, and plays the title character on Nickelodeon's True Jackson.

I believe that she is steadily building up a strong career for herself. I believe that we will see many good things from her in the future and I honestly hope that opportunities will continually present themselves. Obliviously, I wish Ms. Palmer the best in her career.

Oh, and by the way, she's only fifteen.

That One...

We all have That One,
That One person who we desperately want
Who just doesn’t seem to want us,
As bad as we want them.

My One is tall, dark, and Kenyan.
He is not very good looking,
In fact he looks like one of the hyenas from the Lion King…
He’s prone to weight gain,
And is very sensitive about the whole weight subject altogether.

But I loved him, all of him, completely.

He had the crookest smile
That somehow reminded me of sinister thoughts.
And had one of the smartest, active, minds that I had seen in quite a while.

He was the first man I ever dated to compliment my mind,
Have intellectual discussions with me, and
Notice when I was tired, without me having to say it.

And he was able to give me an orgasm in two minutes. TWO MINUTES!!!
Yes, oh yes, I loved him. All of him, completely.

Then one day he broke my heart. He didn’t do it all at once, but step by step, little by little, until my heart was full of cracks. Then that one faithful day, he tapped it, without really meaning to… And I shattered.

My outside still looked solid, but internally I had gone to pieces.

To be honest, at first I hadn’t noticed. There had been so many cracks already that I hadn’t noticed that this wound was different.

I separated from him, cut off all contact, and went on living my life. I felt fine.

Then about a year later, recently, I watched a movie about love, and really living life…
I was so touched that I was finally able to feel all of the pieces of my heart. They were strewn about.

Having finally felt what I had been avoiding for a year, I fell apart. I cried uncontrollably for three hours until I fell asleep.

But still, I loved him, all of him, completely.

There is always that one that we simply can’t have for whatever reason.

But I am starting to think that maybe That One is preparing me for The One. Because That One showed me what I do and don’t want in a relationship. Something that I rarely even considered before.

And now when The One comes I’ll be ready because That One already showed me what it is to play, love, and to lose.

I’ve grown enough to not need That One anymore.

But I haven’t grown enough to be ready to meet The One…
I have to put the pieces of my heart back together first.

The Princess and the Frog...

...Is set in Louisiana during the Jazz Age. So that should be an exciting backdrop.

Disney First Black Princess is a Mahogany Berry. I am so excited that two of our firsts Miss Tiana and Mrs. Obama are dark skin women. I hope this will give brown skin girls more confidence in themselves and show the world that they too are beautiful.

Tiana comes a little late. Seeing that Jasmine was created in 1992, Pocahontas in 1995, and Mulan in 1998. But I think that Disney has put a lot of effort into getting this right. And if they had of attempted this in the 90's they would have gotten it all wrong.

There has been some controversy because the Prince is not Black. Of course, the outrage has been among Black males. The fact that the Prince is not Black does not bother me. It also doesn't faze me that others might be upset.

When people write Michael Jordan, Seal, Quincy Jones, and Sidney Poitier about their relationships then maybe I will be concerned. Until then...

My Ex is a...

Hater! And I told him so. We were together for six years. Six long years. And in that time he never asked me my opinion on anything important. He made decisions that included both of us, and somehow managed to not include me in the decision process. He is poor with money. Really poor. He is deep in debt.

And that is my fault, according to him.

We broke up because I wanted to finish pursing my education. He was shocked. We met at school. So I was confused. He never thought I would finish... he never thought I would finish...
When we broke up, he thought that somehow I would fall apart. That I couldn't make it in this big bad world.

But somehow, I did.

I finished my Bachelors. And am working to eliminate my debt. When I told him this he went crazy. I plan to work all summer, at four different places to get rid of my debt. I plan to sacrifice, but still get sleep of course. Because now is the time to work with people and pay off things. This economy is perfect for it.

HE WENT CRAZY. At first I was shocked. We are friends... aren't we? Why then is he screaming at me? Then I realized it is because he is not happy for me. I can't possibly do better than him in any sphere of my life. He won't hear of it. Because I am not suppose to be better than him at anything.

In his yells, I feel anger. I told him to man up. To fix his own problems because I would no longer allow him to constantly place the blame for the problems in his life on me. It wasn't fair. It isn't fair. I have problems too. He was there when those problems were created. But I don't expect him to fix them. I don't expect anything from him.

In his yells, I want to be better, do better. I want to come out on top. I want to accomplish everything I set out to accomplish. I want to get everything he tried to prevent me from having. And deep down, I know I will. I will.

And when I do, I will smile a deep satisfied smile. Because I overcame myself, to overcome his expectations. Yes, my ex is a hater.